The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
