Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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