can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
