There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
