Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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