you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
