Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
