Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
