Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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