The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
