I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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