I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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