hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My cat gives me a boner
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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