3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize