either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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