I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
