The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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