I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
