it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
