I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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