the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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