Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
