i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
