Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
