I think I died a long time ago.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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