Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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