is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My ass is underappreciated
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
