it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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