One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
