i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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