I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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