Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize