Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
