so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
