eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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