he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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