I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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