i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
