i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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