I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
