im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
