So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize