Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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