I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I would fuck him just for his dog
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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