so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
