Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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