He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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