i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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