I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
