I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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