Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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