There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
