Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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