At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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