Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
