I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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