he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize