Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
