somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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