He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
