So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
