i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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